Did I already mention I can’t drink coffee? It makes my ear “close” and I won’t go into the boring details on that one. I can’t even drink decaf. I recently discovered that I can’t even have a glass of wine, because that, too, makes my ear do that thing. I was taking Sudafed, but you can’t take that too often. I did that last week, and not only does frequent use render it ineffective, but it makes you buggy-eyed and compels you to wander around with the vacant facial expression of a homeless person. You might even start a conversation with a piece of furniture. This is all normal behavior for me, with or without pharmaceuticals, but I’m saying that YOU might not like feeling that way.
I read somewhere that eating an apple in the morning wakes you up better than coffee, so I tried it this morning. I wasn’t sleepy after I finished the apple, but then I’d just slept for 12 hours. In the absence of coffee, time goes by in these even, slow increments, and everybody talks slow and yet too fast for me to follow their words. It’s a good thing I can just put a headphone in my good ear and listen to music.
D o you feel sorry for me now? Don’t. Just enjoy your coffee (sigh) and please, I mean this, send me an e-mail after your next cup of coffee and tell me about it, and how much you’re enjoying it. I can only live vicariously through you guys. You’re all I’ve got, kind of like Mary Ingalls in the Little House series, when she went blind and Laura had to be her sight for her.
I may just become the world’s first apple junkie.