Learning curve

Have you had one of those Espresso Truffles yet? From Starbucks? They’re like a mocha, only with the death by chocolate flavor I’ve only test-driven in their failed melted chocolate experiment from a few years ago. I ordered a double, which was just suicide, because an hour into it, I started getting espresso overload, and it was a little scary. Instead of the usual nice creative surges and delightful wakey-ness, I got all twitchy and was filled with the desire to throw darts at things. That’s only the second time this past month that I’ve had that urge.
I honestly think it was just boredom. I was up late because I spent the evening in South Orange County trying to get great photographs of a baby and failing miserably because I’m still learning about studio lighting. I went to bed late, got up late, and my day just went on forever. I love what I do, but my day needs to start early. By the time I left, I was fantasizing about stabbing my arm just to watch it bleed.
When you look at good photography, it looks so easy, SO easy, and it just isn’t. I would have thought that I could just bring a black backdrop and studio lights and a creative eye, and something great would happen. Instead it looked like we were interrogating this poor sweet little baby. I couldn’t believe the tolerance she was exuding. It’s like she just trusted that her mom and I would finally stop flashing that strobe at her and come pick her up like we’re supposed to do, and she’d just lay there, wiggling and squirming and making noises and staring back at us. By every right, she should have been red-faced and screaming. I kept wanting to put the camera down and go pick her up and bounce her and tell her how sorry I was. How could photography be important when there’s milk to be had, and baby bouncing to be done?
Anyway, maybe someday that kind of photography will come naturally to me, but right now I feel like I’m trying to pick up a penny off of the floor using a pair of crutches, while blindfolded.


One thought on “Learning curve

  1. womantalk says:

    Well, you’re a natural at animal photography. Some of those pictures, like the horses digging the snow or Jane’s puppies at a rainy window, are fanfrickintastic.

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